Blood and Love
by panravenc
Summary: Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy. Or, in which despite being born contradicting it, Minato isn't a girl, he's never been. Trans!Minato.
1. where he wakes up

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2019; berry

* * *

**_Summary; _**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter I_**

_Where He Wakes Up_

* * *

Manami is a name not many know of. Not even in the orphanage where he lives, so it's easy at first to pretend it's not his. That they're calling another girl, one that _is_, and that they've forgotten about the kid with the big sweatshirts and the baggy pants, the kid who cut by himself his hair, and it's now short.

(_Too short for a girl_, the matron said sternly at first.)

(And there lays the problem, really.)

(Because Manami desperately wants to, but he's not a girl.)

(Manami whispers in the dead of the night his right pronouns, his right _name_.)

(They still call him Manami in the morning.)

When he's four years old, Manami starts giving to the other girls his skirts, his right-sized t-shirts and his hairpins, because _it looks better on you, Aika-chan!_ and steals clothes from the older boys.

(But boys don't notice because they're too busy playing _ninja_ in the playground, and he wants to play too but _girls don't do that_ and so he sits and reads a book about the animals that exist beyond Konoha's gates.)

Months pass and one by one the caretakers change. Kids are adopted and there aren't many who remember Manami, because he hasn't answered to that name in a while. He's quiet, reserved, and even if his blond hair makes him stand out a bit, it's not enough to make him the centre of attention.

Eventually, they all forget about Manami, and just assume sherun away, or got adopted, or found a job.

They don't pay attention to the lonely figure that sleeps in the common room, either.

It works for him.

(Manami is no more and now, maybe, _maybe, _he can be Minato.)

It's a summer afternoon when it happens. The other kids are playing around with a hose because it's _hot_, but Minato's still in his big t-shirt and baggy pants.

Not that he minds, he prefers this to skinny leggings and skirts on any given day, but he doesn't want to get wet because then he'll have to change _in front of the others_ and he's _not_ doing that. On the other hand, it's _hot_. He's _melting_. There are crickets and cicadas practically _singing_, and the ground of the playground is _burning_.

He's still not getting wet, though. Not a chance.

(They'll discover, they'll _know_—)

He heads down to the common room and grabs a book.

(He's a little bit lonely.)

The matron founds him, sitting inside, and walks until she's in front of him. The matron's an old lady, stern and kind and exasperated, with grey-almost-white hair and wrinkles all over her face.

She's a grandmother to most of the kids.

(She's the pillar.)

"Why don't you go out there and play, Manami?"

(_Of course_. _Of course_ the matron would be the only one who remembered that cursed name.)

Minato tightens his grip on the book he was reading and bites his lip.

"I'm— I'm not Manami," he says, voice wavering just a bit even when he's completely terrified.

Minato closes his eyes. He doesn't— he's _not_—

(He's _not lying_—)

"Oh?"

There's silence.

(There's tension and the soundtrack is the laughter of the children outside.)

Then there's a sigh. And a hand in the top of his head.

"In all my years as a matron— _never_ have I forgotten a child. I know you're that child. But here you are, telling me you're not," then she continues, and her next words stay in his brain, engraved. "So tell me: _who are you_?"

A lump forms in Minato's throat, and tears gather around in his eyes.

"I'm, um—," he stammers. "Minato. I'm—" then he looks up to her with a tiny smile, and sees the gentleness in her eyes. "I'm _Minato._"

Grinning, the matron ruffles his hair. "That's a pretty good name you got there. Now, come on, if you're going to be here reading that book all day, you better help me install your old things in one of the boys' rooms," she grins, mischievous. "No boy is allowed in the girls' section, you know that."

(Minato follows her with a smile as big and bright as the sun.)

(_The matron sure is kind, _he thinks.)

("Here's our new kid. His name is Minato, he'll be sleeping with Asahi and Touma. Treat him well.")

And so Minato leaves Manami behind.

(Because no one remembers Manami, but no one will ever forget Minato.)


	2. where he burns

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2019; berry

* * *

**_Summary;_**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter II_**

_Where He Burns_

* * *

Minato's six years old when the orphanage receives a visit from the Hokage for the first time in two years.

(It's no wonder, what with the Second War in the horizon and the troubles everyone's having to reach to other nations.)

(Especially Uzushio.)

(And if someone were to ask where Minato learned all of this, let's say that the matron has a soft spot for him and that the merchants don't really care about a child's overhearing—sometimes they don't even notice him.)

Minato's always been fascinated with ninjas, but until that day it had been an admiration from afar. Mostly because aside from Tsunade of the Sannin, there are few women that are known in the field, and the most common phrase to hear if you want to be one and you happen to be a girl is: _no, no, girls don't do that, girls have to be good wives, girls don't get to play around_.

But Minato's not a girl, and since two years ago everyone's forgotten about Manami, and that's fine, that's _good_, because now he can attend the meeting with the older ninja and enter the Academy without being ridiculed.

(Which is a travesty, because Minato's yet to known anyone who's as strong as Tsunade, but to each their own and all that.)

Besides the Third Hokage, there's a silver-haired man with a kind face and another one with dark brown hair, which is up in a ponytail, and an annoyed gaze. He's sure the second one is a Nara, but he's got no idea who's the first.

(He _wants to_. Because Minato wants to know _everything_ there's to be about ninja, about shinobi and kunoichi and about the people who _burn_ like him, who see Konoha and think _protectprotectprotect _and _thisisminemineminemine__._)

(He senses that in every ninja he's come across, and he _wants._)

(He _needs_.)

The Hokage talks about the _Will of Fire_ in the meeting. He talks about being useful, of protecting the village, of being a _hero._

(He sweet talks, but Minato understands anyway.)

Minato doesn't think it has anything to do with being a hero, or being useful to the village, or about pretty words.

Minato just wants to protect. He wants to fight, too, but that's a side of him he won't let outside, not yet.

(It's much too soon for that.)

In the end, he signs up for the Academy and goes back to reading his new book.

(And soon they'll discover the beast that's inside him, but for the moment he's flaky and he's Minato and the new documents in the orphanage say he's a boy.)

(He's happy. He's excited.)

(He _burns_.)


	3. where there's the start

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2019; berry

* * *

**_Summary;_**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter III_**

_Where There's The Start_

* * *

Minato's eight. Which means that he's starting the Academy.

He's a little nervous about it.

(Okay, not just a little, but he can keep a secret and _that's_ definitely one.)

Mostly because in the Academy lays his future —he _knows_ this— and because, well, there are _new people_ there. He just doesn't think he'll make friends, and he _wants to_, because he's terribly lonely in the orphanage, but—

But he's never made friends _before_.

So, he's a little bit _apprehensive. _That's all.

(He doesn't even believe the lie himself.)

(So he sighs and lets the worries fly away in the middle of the night.)

(_Will they call him Manami? Will they call him Minato? Will the teachers know, will the other students?_)

(He knows it's impossible for them to mistake him for a girl, but— _what if?_)

In the end, he doesn't have much to worry about. When he enters the first day, the teacher calls him Namikaze Minato —which, _uh_, it's been a long time since he'd heard his surname— and no one even suspects.

It's better than the hundreds of scenarios he'd made up in his mind. And he's grateful for it.

About the other students— well, there are a few who murmur _he's a guy?_ and _i thought he was a girl, waa_, and _no way he's too pretty, _but that's fine.

(There was a boy in the orphanage who confessed to him and he just stared blankly at him because _hello, _he's a _boy_, he's not _Minato-chan_ and—)

(He's _not_.)

But all in all— it's not bad. He quite likes it. And, well, he's there to learn how to be a shinobi that can protect his village.

So it's fine. It makes him smile a little at the end of the day, content and bursting with giddiness because _he's doing this_.

(And there are so many emotions inside Minato that _burn_, that want to _explode_, that make him feel like his body can't handle them alone because they're so _vibrant_—)

Two months in, he finally can say he's made his first friend.

His name is Nara Shikaku, and he's _awesome_. A little shit, too, but— ah. He's his friend, and Minato can, in fact, accept that he's a little shit as well.

The thing is, Minato's always been intelligent. He can memorize stuff easily, he can understand books most of his age don't, he has one hundred of ideas in the span of a few seconds, plans form in his head faster than he can explain them, and it's _complicated_, to connect with his peers sometimes.

(He tries either way, and he connects. In other ways, in _less-than-satisfactory_ ways, but he does.)

With Shikaku it's different. Because Shikaku _understands_. He can memorize stuff easily, can understand books most of his age don't, can visualize one hundred variants in the span of a few seconds. He can stand step by step by his side because Shikaku runs at the same pace he does.

(_That's not it, _Shikaku thinks, because while he can follow Minato's train of thoughts, he can't compare what is his genius to Minato's.)

(Minato feels like a summer breeze, feels like fresh air, feels like sunshine.)

(Shikaku's known since the first day they became friends that he would follow the blond until the ends of time.)

(He's still weak, but he won't be for much longer. And Shikaku will be there, because he's a shadow, and that's what shadows do.)

(They follow their sun.)


	4. where the red blossoms

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2019; berry

* * *

**_Summary;_**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter IV_**

_Where The Red Blossoms_

* * *

At nine years old, Minato doesn't care much for girls. He trains, plays with Shikaku, studies and does homework, and reads books for fun. He helps at the orphanage, too, but that's more because he lives there and less because he _wants to_.

(But he loves doing it because there's the matron always with him and he loves the matron and the matron is old and maybe she won't be there for long—)

Girls are— _weird_. They stalk him and try to sit by his side all the time, and he doesn't know _why_. Shikaku laughs every time he rants off with the same topic, but it's the truth.

Minato just doesn't understand what the hell did he do to gain their attention.

He's—

_Flustered, maybe?_

Because while lots of the boys in his class talk about which girl they like —Shiazoki-san seems to be very popular in that aspect— he just doesn't get it. They're just _girls_. Future comrades, maybe. But what is so good about their smile, or how cute they are?

Minato doesn't understand it.

So he trains, plays with Shikaku, studies, does homework, reads books for fun and helps at the orphanage. Once he's finished, he starts again. And that's his routine, that's how his days pass by.

(It's quiet in a world where loud noises are normal.)

(It's a peace that won't last.)

Months go by, and one day she appears through the classroom door. Her hair's a fiery red, and her features are foreign. She's wearing a yellow kimono, and her frame is quite buff for a kid.

Minato's never seen anyone like her before.

And then—

Then she _speaks._

"I'm Uzumaki Kushina, dattebane!"

(Then she gets embarrassed and self-conscious because she knows her hair's not normal but it was in her family and this is all just _strange_ and—)

When the other kids laugh at her, she stands up. "I will become this village's first female Hokage!"

Minato has never met anyone like her before. He has never wanted to know someone like this before.

She has beared her dream to the whole class, and he wants to respond in kind.

So he stands up, too.

"I also want to become a great Hokage, respected by all the villagers," he says.

(Because that's his dream. He wants to protect with his all the village he loves so much. Minato _burns _for Konoha, and the one with the brightest flame is the Hokage.)

(So he'll be one.)

She stares, defiance in her eyes.

He's never found anyone as interesting as she is. He wants to know _more_. Is she always this determined? Does her fire _burn_ just like his? What does she see when she stares at Konoha? What about her hometown? Is she from Uzushiogakure? He'd heard about their red hair. Is she from one of the small villages that formed around Konoha? What does she look like when she fights? Does she favour taijutsu, or does she like the flashiness of ninjutsu more? Is she like Uchiha-san, preferring genjutsu over physical battle? But she doesn't seem the type, judging by her muscles. Is she a brawler, is she a thinker?

Minato has thousands of questions for her, wants to know hundreds of answers.

(Shikaku stares half in wonder, half in horror—Minato has the same look as if he was looking at a new book of shinobi techniques.)

(_Oh god._)

(He kind of feels sorry for the new girl.)

Once the class ends, boys start to tease her and— dare he say it, _bully _her. But she's strong, he knows —he's _seen it_—, so although he stares at her, he doesn't move.

(After the new girl beats the other boys up and stares down at his friend, Shikaku doesn't feel sorry for her anymore. Clearly, she can handle the blond's attention.)

(_Probably_.)

Uzumaki Kushina is interesting. She _burns_, just like Minato, just like Shikaku.

And Minato—

Minato wants to burn by her side.

(But he won't realise that until a few years have passed.)

(That's okay, though.)

(For now, he will admire her strength from afar.)


	5. where he takes the next step

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2019; berry

* * *

**_Summary;_**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter V_**

_Where He Takes The Next Step_

* * *

Minato's ten when he graduates from the Academy. The Final Exam is, _easy_, he supposes. He tries not to stare smugly at Kushina and decides to share his disappointment with Shikaku, who by the way he rolls his eyes, understands perfectly his sentiment.

Minato's relationship with Kushina is— complicated, to say at least. Because she's always going on about how _effeminate _he looks, how he's a pansy, how he's _girly_.

And yeah, that stings. More than it could ever do when coming outside of someone else's mouth. He still wants to burn by her side, still wants to know just how much of a beast she is on the battlefield. But at the same time, he wants to show her he's not _feminine_.

(Even if his stomach seems on a rollercoaster every time she calls him _pretty boy_. He'll ignore that for the moment.)

Somehow, a rather unbalanced rivalry had taken place on their relationship.

Not exactly what he wanted.

"Just wait and see, _pretty boy_, I'm going to take that first place away from you!"

And there she is, violet eyes beautiful as always —he's stared at them long enough to know, believe him— and voice as high-pitched as ever.

(And there she is, calling him _pretty boy_—)

(Can't she see what that _does_ to him?)

"You think you can?" He asks, his tone trying to be condescending and yet— yet it only sounds curious.

She flushes, cheeks as red as her hair, fire in her eyes, and Minato's only ten, but he thinks he wants to marry her.

"Just wait and see!"

Shikaku sighs by his side and ultimately smiles, entertained by Minato's hopeless crush.

(Shikaku wonders if Kushina knows _what she's getting into, _if one day they will look at each other and reach the understanding of _oh, so that's why we follow him_.)

(Shikaku, somehow, knows they will.)

A few hours later, Minato wants to keep the grin out of his face, but he _can't_. He's a Genin, he's _finally_ a shinobi.

(Kushina doesn't beat him that day, won't beat him on graduating and neither on becoming Chūnin or Jōnin, but she will eat more ramen than him and have his heart and still have him do _anything_ she wants with only a bat of her eyes, and she'll be satisfied with that.)

(It'll come with time, though. Because Kushina hasn't beat him and she's _furious_.)

(Also a bit impressed.)

The Matron congratulates him, ruffling his hair in a clear sign of affection, and tries to wipe unsuccessfully her tears.

Minato's grown, from the little boy-not-girl he was to the preteen she's seeing in front of her eyes. He doesn't need her anymore, he's a shinobi now—

And he's going to have to move out of the orphanage.

Because by law, Minato's an adult.

_An adult_, she thinks with disdain, because— _no._ He's _not_. But this is Konoha, and he's a shinobi and the Matron knows how he _burns_, and truly, she has no choice.

She's—

She's grown really attached to this child, hasn't she? Even if she always reminds herself not to do it, even if she doesn't want to because she _knows_ they all go away sooner or later.

"Minato," she calls him, words tiptoeing on her tongue. "You'll have to have your own apartment from now on," she states, emotions swirling in her gut.

Her boy nods, and she sighs. It's late at night, and every other child is asleep, as _they should be, _but Minato was _too nervous_, apparently, to do so.

(Honestly, that child.)

He's anxious, she knows. Because what he can afford now is the Red District, and although he'll make his way up, she's sure, he'll have a few rough months.

But—

But she doesn't want that.

"My son," she begins, trying not to let wet eyes turn into tears. "He died on the last war. His apartment— I couldn't get rid of it. But I can't step foot on it, either. And with no one else in the family—" she cuts herself, aware of the disbelieving stare she's receiving from the other end. "I want you to have it."

Minato tries to refuse at first.

It doesn't last long.

Then, Minato cries.

(And the Matron won't admit it, because she's an old woman and she shouldn't be this attached to him, she _shouldn't_, but she _is_.)

(Because this child smiles like the sun, feels like a summer breeze, loves so genuinely it makes her heart clench with memories of a son long gone, and tries to spend time with her because he knows she doesn't have much before reuniting with her family.)

(So she cries, too.)


	6. where bells are ringing

**FLASHES OF BLOOD AND LOVE**

* * *

© 2020; panravenc.

* * *

**_Summary;_**

Minato, no matter what the blood running down his pants inquires, is a boy.

* * *

**_Chapter VI_**

_Where Bells Are Ringing_

* * *

Minato wakes up on an apartment that isn't his to begin with, that belongs to someone long gone. It's strange and unfamiliar, and he doesn't quite like it.

But it's the beginning of something new, of something Minato has burnt for.

(It's the home of someone who died for Konoha and Minato will honour it the best he can.)

Once in the Academy, he searches for Shikaku, excited for how the announcement of the teams will go. He wants to be with Shikaku, wants to be with Kushina—

He knows he won't, though. Shikaku has already told him how the Nara heirs team up with the Yamanaka's and the Akimichi's, as it's tradition, and it's unmoveable.

(Minato gets jealous, sometimes, because he, too, would want to be part of a family as big as a Clan.)

(But then Minato thinks of the matron, and thinks he hasn't had it bad at all.)

"Good morning," the teacher begins, and all the students pay attention. "Alright, I'm going to announce the teams. Team 1 will be—"

Minato kind of zones out. He wonders, he _wants_ —but knows he won't get—, and wonders again.

He returns to focus when Shikaku, with an exasperated look on his face, elbows him on the ribs.

(And, honestly, _ouch_—)

"—7 will be Namikaze Minato, Nukaga Kazuhito and Yanaihara Mei," he hears the teacher say.

And _oh_.

That's _his_ team.

His—

His _team_.

Minato smiles, even though he doesn't know Yanaihara well and has only heard Nukaga say two sentences in the whole time they've spent in the same class.

But now they're _his_.

Or, well, they're _going to be_.

And that's—

(That's a category only Shikaku belongs to.)

Minato's not sure of how many minutes pass, but soon enough they're all waiting for their new _sensei _to come, the class is torn between excited and fearful.

Some sensei's come and go, announcing their team and leaving with them.

Then, Jiraiya enters through the door with a serious face.

(And though Minato admires Tsunade a lot more, because she's _Tsunade _how could he not, Jiraiya is also a shinobi who _burns_ and for that reason alone Minato admires him more than he probably should.)

"Team 7," he announces. "Come with me."

And Minato's heart skips a bit.

_Surely_—

A _Sannin _for an orphan, a civilian and an almost-extinguished clan kid? How—

Questions are running through his head, and he can see both Yanaihara and Nukaga throwing confused looks at the older shinobi's back, but they follow him either way.

They arrive at a training camp, and Jiraiya pulls out two bells. He frowns and lets out an annoyed sigh.

"Okay, kids, let's begin your test," he says.

Yanaihara, who's always had more attitude, throws Jiraiya an unamused glare and speaks out. "What do you mean by that?"

Minato has already solved the puzzle, though.

"We have to pass another test. There are only three to four teams who are going to make it from our class. Haven't you noticed that every year has a few who didn't fail the final exam, but still returned to the Academy?" He asks, sure of his response. "And there are a few Academy graduates working as civilians. And the Genin Corps needs people working there, too," he adds as a mere curiosity. "It's not difficult to imagine what happens to those who fail, after noticing that."

Jiraiya's eyebrows go up, though his two teammates don't seem surprised by his answer.

(Both Mei and Kazuhiko know what kind of genius hides behind the flaky appearance of Minato, and though Mei takes it as a sign of a new challenge, Kazuhiko gently smiles, and wonders if he'll ever get to the point where he can, too, be as intelligent as Minato.)

(Probably not, he muses.)

"Exactly," is what Jiraiya says, again with an annoyed expression. "This," he points out the bells. "Is your test. Each of you has to grab a bell. The one who doesn't goes back to the Academy."

Both Yanaihara and Nukaga gasp, but Minato only frowns.

_What_—

"You have until midday," Jiraiya announces. "In three, two, one—"

And they all disappear.

Minato observes the clearing his new sensei is at, watches as both Yanaihara and Nukaga try to get the bells, facing failure each time.

_No, no, no_— it doesn't seem right, to him. There's something more. Two bells, three students, and a _Sannin_. They're barely Genin, they can't be expected to _win_—

Oh.

_Oh, _because they're not _expected to_. This is a game they can't win, even if the Sannin is taking it easy on them.

So there's have to be something else. Something _more_.

And Minato thinks he knows it.

He finds both his teammates and explains the plan, the rules, the _underneath _of the test.

Luckily for him, they both agree that's their best chance.

(Both know how afar from them Minato is, and really, this is their best chance, but—)

(It kinda stings, to know he's so far away.)

"Let's do this, then."

It's Yanaihara who says it, and Nukaga who nods, and Minato's happy.

A few attempts later, three ambushes and four distractions, they have the bells on their hands.

"Who will you give it to?" Jiraiya asks Nukaga, who has both bells.

And to be honest, Kazuhiko thinks he's the last who should have them. Both Minato and Mei are at the top of the class, and he's the last when it comes to grades.

But Mei rejects them, saying that she only has done so much, that Minato and Kazuhiko deserve them because they're the ones who were essential in catching the bells.

And Minato—

"I think," he starts, looking at Jiraiya in the eyes. "That there's no need to choose. Wasn't it the purpose of this test to see if we could work well together, _sensei_?"

And, really, Jiraiya can't deny that. So he smiles for the first time to the three little rascals he's gotten for students and passes a hand through his hair.

"You caught that, didn't you?"

They're all smiling, now.

"Oh," says Yanaihara, looking at both her teammates. "You can call me Mei, by the way."

Nukaga smiles, gentle as always. "You both can call me Kazuhiko, too."

And Minato, who has had no one, not really, can feel his eyes tear up.

(The matron belongs to the orphanage, and Shikaku, for now, belongs to the Nara Clan.)

(Not really, though. Because Shikaku, in all senses but the official one, is the first of Minato's. Even if the blond doesn't know it quite yet.)

"Call me Minato, then."

(Minato can feel his mind starting to locate his teammates on that lonely section of his brain he considers family.)

(Not now, when they're barely friends, but it's a start, and someday, they'll be there.)

(Both of them.)

"Well, how does ramen sound?" Asks Jiraiya, all smiles and laughter.

(Later, Minato will go to the orphanage and he will talk to the matron, telling her how's the day gone, and how has it turned up.)

(The matron will laugh, whole-heartedly, completely charmed because—)

(Because she remembers Jiraiya, the trouble-maker, the prankster; she remembers the boy who used to sneak out at night to meet up with his snake-friend, the boy who was lonely but loved just as fiercely as the one in front of her does, the boy who tried to cook on Mother's Day cookies for her but ended up burning them all.)

(She will tell Minato about it, because sometimes it's good to reminisce about all the kids she's got.)

(Plus, after all the pranks that white-haired brat had done, the least she could have was _revenge_—)


End file.
